Sabelo’s Story: An SA Father’s Dream to Take Care of His Daughter

While statistics reveal the sad state of so many households in South Africa where children are growing up with absent fathers, there are men like 27-year-old Sabelo Malusi Thabethe whose greatest dream is to hold down his job so that he can buy a home in a safe area and take care of his daughter. But there’s a catch…

In order to keep his job, Sabelo needs to pay for transport to and from work, and for lunch. Right now he can’t afford that – until he gets his first pay cheque on 15 August 2018. He needs about R48 per day, so he’s urgently looking for part-time evening work from 16h00 each day. (See contact details at the bottom of the article.)

Here’s Sabelo’s story in his own words:

My name is Sabelo, born and bred in Pietermaritzburg, the capital city of KwaZulu Natal, South Africa. I was raised by a single mother who was a domestic worker. She passed away when my siblings and I were still young and we were raised by my grandmother and my sister…

When we became teenagers and the load of raising teenagers became too much for the ladies, we were sent to stay with our dad (who we met for the first time when we were teenagers) which was not a pleasant experience.

That was in 2004 and we didn’t have anyone who was our “pillar”, as the only person who genuinely cared was our sister and she was now miles away. My brother and I endured all the difficulties and I managed to complete matric in 2008.

Even though I  passed my matric well, I was doing nothing the following year.

In 2009 I went and work for a piggery farm earning R1,200 per month and saved that money for registration at university.

I went to D.U.T. (Durban University of Technology) in 2011 and did language practice but I couldn’t finish the course due to many factors including a lack of funding.

By that time my sister was long gone, as she passed away in 2006.

At ‘varsity, I would go for a week without food and had to miss classes as I was too exhausted and hungry to attend. I had to go back and live with my grandmother the following year. I went to work for a fertilizer manufacturer, and from there I went to work as a cashier at a retail shop.

I worked there from 2013 and the following year got a job at a call centre where I was promised a big pay cheque only to later find out that that was how they attracted employees… but there was nothing like that fat pay cheque.

I was now renting a place because my grandmother has passed away as well, so I had to fend for myself as I had no one to take care of me. I then went to work for a restaurant and after that got a better job with a tour operator working as one of their sales and admin guys.

I am good with computers and clients, hence my time there was the most enjoyable and I had a nice boss who was taking care of me.

In July last year my bundle of joy – my baby daughter – was born and so then I had to consider her future as well, as the company I was working for was only paying me R4,000 per month.

I spoke to one client who told me to come and work for him. That was around February of 2018, and he promised to double what I was earning which was music to my ears.

I went to work for him. He was in construction and they were busy with a project in Durban. I began working as an administrator there, but their contract was terminated and hence we had to be retrenched by April.

I have been doing different jobs from car guarding to gardening to support my daughter and pay rent till then. But I couldn’t pay my rent for June and my landlord had to kick me out of her house, and took all my belongings including my clothes.

In that time I had already submitted my CV to one of the companies in our town and they called me for an interview.

I had to use my last R20 to buy a toy gun so I could be safe on the street

When I was thrown out of my home I had nowhere to go. There was even a time where I had to use my last R20 to buy a toy gun so I could be safe on the street in case someone tried to do something to me.

I would walk around town or sleep in the garages. I don’t drink nor smoke but I enjoyed weekends as I could go to the clubs in town and stay there the whole evening, and leave the next morning when they closed.

I met one lady on Facebook who assisted me with rent and managed to find a cheap place which is still empty, but at least I get to sleep somewhere safe. My beautiful daughter turned one last week and she usually stays with her mom at her family house.

I got a job last week Monday and it was the happiest time of my life.

I got a job last week Monday and it was the happiest time of my life.

I am now certain that I will be able to take care of my daughter and be a present father in her life. I grew up without a father figure in my life and I don’t wish the same for her.

I love writing books. I was in the process of writing a book about my sister titled My Sister; our mother, our father. But the notebook was lost when my landlord took my stuff.

I love reading and spending any time I can get with my daughter. My biggest wish for my daughter is for her to grow up and be independent. I am not saying I will control her life but I want to raise her in a sense that she will know if something is wrong and refrain from doing it. I want to teach her love and respect.

I grew up without a father figure in my life and I don’t wish the same for her.

I also dream of finding a job that will enable me to build a house for her because I don’t have a stable background where if something were to happen to me, she can go and stay… because I don’t want her growing up at her mom’s place for certain reasons.

I wouldn’t say I haven’t begged before… because there were times where I had nothing in my stomach and would go from suburb to suburb looking for a job or for leftovers. There have been times when I felt like I’ve had too much, but the thought of my daughter keeps me going.

So I am looking for any evening jobs – after 16h00 – so I can raise transport money till I get paid, and for lunch…

I don’t want to lose this job. I am currently renting a room in a very dangerous place, in an informal settlement. It’s not a safe place, especially for a baby…

So I don’t want to jeopardise my chance of getting my own place and supporting my daughter. I am desperate to keep this job and it all depends on me being able to raise transport money till I get paid, to ensure that I am always at work. I can’t even pawn my phone as it is an old model.

My number is 0637222663. Please assist if you can. Thank you.

My biggest wish is to have my own place, stability for my daughter, and a computer or laptop I can use to publish my stories.

• If you are able to offer Sabelo any part-time work, he does have good references. Thank you!