Joke of the Day: Necklace for Valentine’s Day – Wednesday, 14 February 2024

Laughter is the best medicine – and South Africans could undoubtedly do with a dose of the giggles these days!

Below, Wednesday, 14 February’s Joke of the Day

One morning, Emma woke up with a start.  Her husband, Jim, asked what the matter was; she told him, “I just had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” Jim said.

That evening, Jim came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, Emma opened it – only to find a book entitled “The meaning of Dreams”.

RECENT JOKES

I was in line at a restaurant. In front of me was a mother with her college-age son and his girlfriend.

It was the middle of the dinner rush, and many customers were restless at the long wait, but the young couple, holding hands and kissing, were oblivious to everything around them.

Although not approving, the mother was silent until one prolonged kiss when the young man buried his face and hands in his girlfriend’s long, curly locks.

“Do you have to do that here?” the embarrassed mother asked. “I’m not doing anything, Mom,” came her son’s muffled voice. “My earring’s caught in her hair.” 

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand.

Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax.

After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags.

Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually, you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag

My boyfriend and I were taking his 19-year-old niece to a weekend festival.

When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she appeared in tasteful but very short shorts and a tank top with spaghetti straps.

A debate began immediately about appropriate dress. I took the girl’s side, recalling that I dressed the same way when we began dating.

“Yes,” said my boyfriend sternly, “and I said something about it, didn’t I?” Everyone looked at me.

“Yeah,” I replied. “You said, ‘What’s your phone number?'” 

A month after Donald MacDonald started at Harvard, his mother called from Scotland. “And how are the American students, Donald?” she asked.

“They’re so noisy,” he complained. “One neighbor endlessly bangs his head against the wall, while another screams all night.”

“How do you put up with it?”

“I just ignore them and play my bagpipes.”

Man: “Honey, on this Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you something… I’m not rich like Jack.

I don’t have a mansion like Russell. I don’t have a Porsche like Martin.

But I do love you and I want to marry you.

” Woman: “Oh, dear, I love you too! What was that you said about Martin?”

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