Prison Journalism: Changing the narrative

“We can not consider ourselves to be abolitionists, yet work to uphold the system we’re said to be abolishing…” especially when we continue to drain our communities every 15 minute collect phone call; messages sent, letters posted asking, often demanding J-Pays like the addict stealing Christmas presents from the children we claim to love.

ACCOUNTABILITY

If I may respond in my own words concerning accountability.

Why must something devastatingly destructive have to occur in our lives before a better perspective of life and love is achieved?

From the beginning of time violence has been written of; warriors hailed for, nations/communities obliterated by and individuals and their families, as represented by the increasing numbers of men and women in Pennsylvania’s prisons, continue to be negatively impacted in and by this sad affair.

All to what end or benefit?

I often hear much emphasis placed on unjust laws, and I am not denying this, or that only particular communities are targeted by the police. Here again I am not denying this. However, rarely is it that an individual takes responsibility/accountability for their choice made along the way.

ALSO READ: Prison Journalism: My reality

It’s too often “someone else’s fault” whether it be “I was framed” or “the laws are not fair” to the guy returning to prison who states, “my PO (Parole Officer) had it out for me.”

Driving around in an illegal unregistered vehicle and getting pulled over by the police who smell “something” does not make an unjust law the reason for someone being in prison. Being Black perhaps contributes to a heap of unjust, unfair treatment, our history has been impacted by this forever.

Consider that the out of date inspection sticker or absence thereof is what caught the cops attention. The destruction of the community is far greater impacted by the absence of strong mature Black men taking responsibility for the babies produced.

While a new generation is killing each other over trauma related unaddressed, unresolved anger issues which creates a feeling of disrespect when their actions are disrespecting to the elders who’ve overcome far greater odds than a current young mind could possibly fathom.

But who wants to hear such rationale truth when it is easier to find fault with each other or blame someone else for the situation we find ourselves in?

Why is it okay for you to do what you want or feel freely entitled to do but others can’t or shouldn’t? In or outside of prison there are rules but we see individuals, myself included, who choose to ignore them for their own want or gain; then complain when the authority appointed over us has to do their job.

Example: Because of COVID-19 the housing units remain in cohorts, front half-back half. I hear someone say, “I don’t want to give any of these people a reason to say anything to me.” However, observation shows some who take it upon themselves to disregard the rules and then complain when a misconduct is written for being in an unauthorized area.

When you were not supposed to be out of the cell at that time.

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Perhaps it is not fair that I speak on such things because if I was being responsible, accountable, within my own life perhaps I would not be here myself. Where the narrative changes is where I am accepting responsibility for my actions, holding myself accountable to the very people who continue to invest in me.

Blaming no one but myself.

It wasn’t poor parenting; childhood assaults or racist police that caused my imprisonment. There were many things done in my young adult life I got away with, or so I thought. Talking with Mom on a visit, or my siblings, “I knew that” managed to be said several times.

Continued disregard for others and the law when older sent me to prison more times that I care to admit, this is the first state bid, a life sentence. So I do not claim or propose to be better than anyone and certainly not perfect. Who among us is?

It is through the trials and tribulations, not on my own life, but which I have caused to many others that compelled change.

Witness life changes when one accepts responsibility, tends to be accountable, for the actions they alone take and become free to grow through their own traumas to better impact the world around.

ALSO READ: Prison Journalism: My first two days in Pollsmoor Prison

No matter how small it may seem to be or how wide you wish it was, a prison cell does not have to dictate or limit the greatness one can achieve or set boundaries one can or cannot go beyond. Our past got us here, but from here the future can be much brighter than for someone not bound behind these prison gates.

The only limitations we have are those we impose upon ourselves.

In the 23 years in this controlled environment, of this incarceration, I have received one misconduct resulting in 30 days in the Restricted Housing Unit (RHU) in or around 2008.

This is not to boast, rather to demonstrate that as the environment is conducive to violence and negativity it is upon oneself to rise above such and have a life free from its consequences. I try to honor others in the way I live my life, today.

Some may not agree with such humility, that it is prison and I should be more radical. I put myself here. Prison can be the platform on which excellence can be achieved and performed by renewing of the mind and surrendering to the reality…

“I placed myself here” changing the narrative and accountability on my life.

ALSO READ: Prison journalism: My Mother, My guide

The article was facilitated by Erin Parish from the Human Kindness Foundation (HKF).

The Human Kindness Foundation’s mission is to encourage more kindness in the world beginning with people in our prisons and jails.

HKF has published several books including: We’re All Doing Time, Lineage and Other Stories, Deep and Simple, and Just Another Spiritual Book and provide these books for free to people currently serving time in prisons or jails.

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