Aunt’s Letter About The Heartbreak of Family Leaving South Africa Goes Viral
When Samantha Jacobs penned a letter to President Cyril Ramaphosa, expressing her raw, broken feelings as she waved goodbye to yet more relatives emigrating from South Africa… for what they hope will be a better life abroad, she never expected it to become viral. She was just writing it down because she knew if you […]
When Samantha Jacobs penned a letter to President Cyril Ramaphosa, expressing her raw, broken feelings as she waved goodbye to yet more relatives emigrating from South Africa… for what they hope will be a better life abroad, she never expected it to become viral. She was just writing it down because she knew if you bury your heartbreak, it causes heartburn. And because she does want Cyril Ramaphosa to read her letter, and to initiate positive change, to eradicate corruption and create a country that’s safer for all its citizens to be proud to call home.
She never expected the massive response. Her sentiments resonated with thousands, who welcomed her voicing the huge sadness they’ve been feeling. The heartbreak of a nation. Some of her words (referencing the old Jan Smuts Airport, saying her family was leaving based on the colour of their skin) and her picture – featuring the old orange-tailed SAA aircraft – triggered accusations that she was being racist and wanting a return to Apartheid South Africa.
‘I don’t want apartheid back. I want the theft, violence, corruption and dishonesty to stop’
On Friday morning, Samantha set the record straight and reassured social media users she would never want to return to pre-1994. “I don’t want apartheid back. I just want the theft, violence, corruption and dishonesty to stop,” she says. (See the full letter further down.) Many people of all races and cultures have agreed – and disagreed – with her.
SAPeople follower Kgomotso Mothoa said:
“What hurts me most is people still think everything is about race even when facts are out there. Lot of people who would have built companies to employ the masses are now leaving for Europe. There’s absolutely no hope currently. I really appreciate all the Saffas who are here trying hard to take our country forward and those who are leaving, leaving was the only option they had. All the best. CRIME is the only fastest growing industry in our country.”
They’re not just moving to Europe.
Another SAPeople follower, Andile Gova, who lives in Washington (USA) said:
“As I’m getting older, I realize that my experiences and my convictions are not someone else’s. That’s why I refrain to act as Dr Phil on facebook. Now coming to the letter, as a black man, I realize that’s her experiences. As much as I don’t agree with some parts of the letter, that doesn’t take away the fact that, it’s her experiences.
‘She didn’t choose to be born white and I didn’t choose to be born black…’
“She didn’t choose to be born white and I didn’t choose to be born black. We both found ourselves in a situation we don’t have control over. All we have to do is to make the best of the situation. As a black man, I might push a little harder but trust me I will, my dark days will be history, and my next generation won’t experience them.
“There’s some truth in this letter as well. I remember 2008 telling my friends that in the next 10 years, South Africa will be worse than it was then. It doesn’t take a genius to know that stolen money is not coming back and it will leave a hole where it was supposed to go. America has its problems, but getting a job is not one of them, loadshedding is not one of them, the list goes on which I’m not going to get into.
“We were all so optimistic after ’94. Things started well, and the wheels fell off over the years. Right now, I can’t even tell you, the direction the country is taking. Thanks to Springboks and Banyana Banyana for keeping us relevant in the sports world.
‘The best way to fix a problem is to admit there’s one…’
“It doesn’t help to live in denial. The best way to fix a problem, is to admit there’s one. She wrote her experiences and I respect that. I don’t have to agree with it.”
Here, with Samantha’s permission, is the ‘Dear Cyril’ letter that went viral… followed by her update today:
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??? ?ℎ? ??????? ???????! – S Jacobs
While for many it resonated, for others the letter hurt. One of the many responses to Samantha’s letter was this from SAPeople follower Rebotile Daisy Emamer. She said: “Dear Samantha Jacobs! The airport which was once Jan Smuts is NOW OR Tambo!!! Get used to it.
“As a child I stood at the window, watch my granny go work very early in the morning to go raise another family’s children. Come home very late in the evening because of taxi which was far away from her beloved family.
“As I write this, one of the many stories she told, as she sat on a chair, with a sigh of tiredness drinking her 5 Roses tea with a dash of Condensed milk, of how the husband got so drunk at the braai, which was pretty often, would get so drunk that he would fall over the place, start screaming and shouting at his wife and children, including invited guests, and call my granny the “K” word; not only that but he would mess his pants, which were then left on the floor for my granny to pick up the next morning when she does the day’s laundry.
“Of course he would wake up regretting the night before and apologize to his lovely wife and kids, and my granny (would) get a plate of the left over braai meat from the night before as an apology.
“As much as you want to reminisce of all the bad and wrong things that are happening in “our beloved country”, unfortunately it does not only affect your precious family but ALL South Africans.
“Your Niece will be perfectly fine guaranteed, as she leaves SA to go back where her ancestors belonged. Where her skin colour will not be compromised even though the black girl has more on her resume to offer. She will continue to live her privileged life and forget all about where she came from. As she can just pack her bags and book a flight, choose her aisle, pick a window seat probably, to watch as the plane takes off into the clear blue skies.
“Don’t worry Umhlanga won’t even notice that you have left. How ironic of you to remember how “family sticks together “ where many were separated before 1994. Our ancestors were friendly welcoming people of a colour they have never seen before, which they were then shot at and stole what was theirs and turned them into slaves .
“We were made outsiders on our own land that has been ours for many years. They had to survive because against all odds they didn’t have a choice. At least you were taught to lie, which you are very good at now I’m sure. The only thing I remember about my grandfather was how his “bass” wouldn’t let them have water breaks after working in the sun all day.
“So it is with a heavy heart to let you know that we won’t miss you and your family. In fact it’s good riddance. Oh don’t worry, cry and wipe your tears when you’re done.
“Cry our beloved Country!
R Emamere”
Everyone is hurting. And so those born one colour sometimes criticise those born another. If corruption and crime alone were tackled properly by the SA government, who knows what these passionate South Africans could accomplish together. Until then, as Rebotile told SAPeople, “these are conversations we still need to have”, as uncomfortable as they are. (She also admits that “I may have been a little disrespectful on some of my replies which I know my (late) granny wouldn’t be pleased with”.)
Samantha’s message today addressed some of what Rebotile raised:
“I wrote a letter to Cyril in a form of expressing my feelings. Experience tells me that keeping those in causes reflux.
“We have experienced real loss – having to say goodbye to those we love too soon puts things into perspective so when I say it’s hard to see my family go I have taken into account the real stuff in life.
“Our family is not perfect. We are loud, like things a certain way, we nag but we are enthusiasts. We are entrepreneurs who all have businesses, we uplift, support, look after staff, have good solid values, we encourage.
“They aren’t big businesses but just small, compliant, efforts that have been around for a very long time.
“We have been so blessed to have so many traditions in our family and to have that and members taken from you, not from choice – gets you down. I’m not even a parent so my letter is only written as an aunt – I can’t begin to know how my sister will manage.
“I never expected the post to go viral. I understand social media pretty well, but never did I imagine the views, shares and comments. Every hour it’s growing.
“I have been called an apartheid lover, a racist, I received really nasty messages, but 90% of people got what I was saying.
“Thanks for all the wonderful messages from around the world.
“In case they didn’t get it: I don’t want apartheid back. I just want the theft, violence, corruption and dishonesty to stop.
“I want the pride back, where we have a country to be proud of – we have so much to be naturally proud of even if we didn’t nothing to improve it but rather just stopped the degradation we would be ahead.
“I’m white, well I think more light blue with a bit of peach colour on the face. I’m an aunt who takes her job seriously. In my spare time I try make the world a better place by doing what I can.
“From this post I have had 3 requests to publish the letter to print (SAPeople included!), various online website requests, and a little radio station wants to speak with this crazy aunt.
“All from a letter on Facebook. That Cyril won’t read.
“And I think the lesson is that they can not silence us – say how you really feel and maybe, just maybe things will set into motion.
“Have a beautiful weekend – I have 4 very busy days ahead and unless I’m deported you won’t hear much from me.”
While we may not hear much from Samantha, she has at least re-ignited a conversation that must be had, and resolved.
Different perspectives
Meanwhile for those considering moving abroad here are three (of many!) perspectives from SAPeople followers who responded to Samantha’s message:
Lily VJ says: “This is a nice letter for someone who has the privilege but I live in Belgium and the public transport is terrible and the healthcare is not free. Literally the cost of living is too high and it’s hard to find proper housing. The grass is not always greener…”
Yvonne M in Queensland, Australia says: “Thank you for your wonderful but very sad letter. There are so many of us South Africans out there in the world that can assimilate with what you have written. Our hearts will always be in Africa. But what our new adopted countries offer us, is priceless. To be safe, our children are free to play and have futures when educated. Health care when we old. Policing the criminals and keeping them away from law-abiding citizens. I could go on and on about a functioning society and country.”
And finally, Yoveen Jay Hanuman – who is Chairman of his Homeowners Association, President of his Toastmasters club and holds a senior role in his place of work – wrote: “I acknowledge your letter, respect the message and relate to the disappointments as a fellow South African, Samantha.
“I would, however, be doing myself and every other cautiously optimistic patriot, a disfavour if I did not provide a difficult perspective to swallow.
“Attempting to change the public sector is simply a waste of time.
“The only way forward is to turn our attention, both emotionally and financially towards the private sector, social enterprises and community-based initiatives.
“Instead of promoting the onslaught of negativity, each of us can start by firstly being more aware of what we expose ourselves to (ignoring the news is a great starting point), speaking about solutions and encouraging collaboration between small groups of people (friends, family, colleagues, neighbours) to bring about minor waves of positive change.
Stop being a dead fish and going with the flow.
“It’s easier to jump on the bandwagon and sit comfortably in our homes (reading this comment) and complain about things around you not changing when you yourself don’t participate, take on leadership roles or make excuses like you’re too busy, or you just don’t know what to do?!
“If you have access to a phone and can read this, you have the power to choose to find out what you can do! If you’re tired of the situation, as we all are, stop singing the same tune and do something about it in your community or workplace!”
If you have a story to tell, about your life or memories in South Africa, please send it to: admin@sapeople.com