Love, Death, Daughters and Domestics in South Africa
For those who haven’t grown up in South Africa, the closeness that often grows between a domestic worker and her employer’s family can be hard to grasp. But the bonds and emotions run deep for many, with ‘family’ becoming a blend of both the domestic’s and employer’s children. And when there’s a heartbreaking death in the ‘family’, everyone […]
For those who haven’t grown up in South Africa, the closeness that often grows between a domestic worker and her employer’s family can be hard to grasp. But the bonds and emotions run deep for many, with ‘family’ becoming a blend of both the domestic’s and employer’s children. And when there’s a heartbreaking death in the ‘family’, everyone feels it and strives together for a better future for all…
Nothing illustrates that bond more than a poignant and powerful post by 28-year-old Danielle Labram on Facebook this month.
Danielle wrote: “Hi all, as you know my domestic Mercy recently passed away. During this horrific tragedy, through all the pain and hardship, Mercy’s daughter [Rachel] pushed through her final year of high school, sitting by her mom’s bedside witnessing (what no child should) her pain and suffering; and cooking, cleaning, taking over her mom’s jobs to keep the money coming in; and taking over the role of parenting her two younger siblings.
“Amidst all this she completed her grade 12 with distinction and in doing so has been granted a full bursary to study electrical engineering at Wits!
“Determined to break the cycle and form a new path Rachel is asking for any employment around Wits so that she can afford accommodation.
“Please help her find work so that she can lead a better life. Please share this post far and wide, this girl deserves a chance to chase her dreams. She has worked SO hard for it!
“Also if you know of cheap accommodation in the area please advise. Any advice would be so appreciated! Thank you friends. And please, if you can’t help – share, maybe this will reach someone, somewhere who can give this girl a chance at a better life! x ”
And…proving the old adage that it takes a (social media) village to raise a child – within 24 hours donations were pouring in, a family stepped forward to offer her temporary accommodation for a few months until they relocate, and another gentleman offered to assist with her campus accommodation from then onwards.
Although it had never been Danielle’s intention to ask for donations, a bank account was set up after the offers came in, and once it was pointed out that Rachel’s degree will be too intense for her to maintain a job at the same time.
Rachel is still supporting her younger siblings financially, although her aunt physically takes care of them while Rachel studies.
“I can’t thank you all enough for all your help in making this bright young girl’s dream come true! She has been through so much that it’s only fair for her to have this opportunity!” Danielle wrote on 2 February, referring not only to Rachel’s mom’s passing… but also the tragic passing of two of her five siblings.
“I was with Mercy every step of the way through both passings,” Danielle told SAPeople. “And I have and will continue to support her family in any way I can.”
The good news is that two weeks since Danielle’s first post on 1 February “Rachel is doing extremely well. She is loving ‘varsity and her new foster family is treating her well. The donations we have received have been a huge help to her and her family, and we are waiting on funds to buy her a laptop this week. The response has been a blessing and a miracle.”
To her friends and those who shared her post, Danielle said: “It has truly been absolutely incredible and so heartwarming. You are all such wonderful people and Rachel and myself are so grateful!!!”
The importance of an education is engrained in Danielle’s family. She herself is a Unisa Psychology/Criminology graduate, completing her postgrad in education, and working towards her masters in Educational psychology.
And her “little sister” – her parents’ domestic’s daughter, Mashadi Kekana – went to the Oprah school and is now a final year student in Wellesley College in the USA.
As Danielle says – she’s from a family of eight – “youngest of six children and of course Mashadi and her mom Anna making us 10 :)”
And it looks like Rachel will be part of her family forever too…
View Danielle’s original post here.
WATCH VIDEO: Staircase to Heaven – by Blaise Draper
A couple of years ago, then 18-year-old Blaise Draper wrote and performed this beautiful ode to her domestic worker, Thembi, who had recently passed away after 23 years living with the family. “People who have never lived in South Africa don’t really understand how special that relationship can be,” said Blaise at the time. “Thembi had become my best friend and second mom.”