Expat Survival Guide for South Africans Abroad

Some South Africans like to call it the ‘chicken run’, but leaving your homeland and settling into a new country is definitely not for sissies! You’re far from home, far from most of your friends and family… and in the beginning nothing’s familiar. Here’s an expat’s survival guide for South Africans abroad, based on tips shared by over 500 SA expats…

1. Location, Location, Location

If you’re not familiar with the place you’re moving to, try rent for a short period first, before buying and getting stuck where you don’t belong. Sometimes, just moving from one suburb to another can change everything. And unless you’re looking to radically change your life, try find places similar to where you’ve come from.

2. Learn the Lingo

If you’re moving to a non-English speaking country give the new language the best shot you can, asap. Download the Duolingo app. It’s fun. As Nelson Mandela said: “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.”

Even if you’re moving to an English-speaking country, learn the new lingo… so you know when to say slip slops, flip flops or thongs… and whether it’s sticky tape or cellotape; trunk or boot; trunks, boardies or baggies.

And when you’re missing South African slang and our unique accent… be sure to check out Showmax – the online home of South African television for expats. Although 70% of the titles are in Afrikaans they also have English, Zulu, Tswana, Xhosa and Sotho shows!

3. When in Rome…

Adapt. Watch, listen and learn the cultural ways of your new country. For instance, in most countries people don’t care what you earn, what you drive or what school you went to. If in France, learn to say “Bonjour” (not excusez-moi) before you ask anybody for assistance… and they’ll be a lot more helpful! In America, a call first is preferred to a “pop-in”. In Australia, it’s normal to say g’day and ‘see ya later’ to strangers… but in Korea, people won’t even smile as you walk past. It’s not personal. The culture is different. A nod or bow is a sign of respect and how you say hello or goodbye.

Adopting a new accent and way of life doesn’t mean you lose your African roots. Sometimes it’s just survival… to be understood, to fit in, to not offend. To do as the Romans do.

4. Birds of a Feather 

Make sure you’re living, working and sending your kids to school in a community made up of your type of people. It’s a human necessity to ‘belong’… and if you’re not with your ‘tribe’ you’ll never make meaningful relationships. You need to be amongst people who make you laugh and love life, and who appreciate you. And vice versa.

5. Get to Know the Locals

… or you’ll always feel like an outsider. Don’t adopt a ‘them’ and ‘us’ mentality. Respect the differences there may be between the two of you… but focus on finding common ground. (Comparisons are boring for everyone, unless they ask, and not useful for you.) Be patient. Your friendships may not happen overnight, but like a finely brewed lager back home in SA, they will develop into something satisfying that lasts a lifetime. Be as interested in them as you expect them to be in you.

6. Find Some South Africans in Your New Neighbourhood

It just helps. You have an instant click, an understanding that goes way deeper than skin and bank balances. You just ‘get’ each other. Many expats find that South African friends become their new ‘family’ in a foreign land. Fellow SA expats are also the best at giving you tips on settling in, and helping you feel anchored to your new homeland.

7. But Don’t Just Sommer Make Friends with Anyone Just Because They’re a Saffer

If you wouldn’t have been friends back in SA, your friendship will probably not go the distance. And definitely stay away if they’re negative – either slagging South Africa off, or complaining about the new country that took them in! Having a country in common isn’t always enough for a meaningful friendship!

8. The Most Important Thing is Just That You Make Friends

Find your people. They don’t have to be South African. A mixture would be great. But they need to be people you connect with… As the Zulu saying goes: Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu – A person is a person through (because of) other people.

If you’re feeling a little lonely (and there will be times you do), watch Binnelanders from the beginning to feel part of something again.

9. Join the Club

If you seriously aren’t meeting anyone you click with… join a club! The quickest way to meet like-minded people is to go find them doing an activity you love – cycling, chess, yoga, movies, bookclubs.

For inspiration, be sure to watch Armand Aucamp in the delightful series Die Boekklub.

10. Mind Over Matter

Keep an open mind… and you’ll assimilate without any conscious effort. Look for the positives. It may drizzle a lot in England, but that makes the gardens and parks beautiful. Canada may be freezing at times… but the houses are well insulated, the views are spectacular and the services are excellent.

Be flexible and be South African ie. be friendly, adaptable (nobody makes better entrepreneurs!), and resourceful (remember ‘n boer maak ’n plan!). Be humble (and definitely not arrogant!). Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Be willing to start at the bottom. If you keep your values and a good work ethic, you’ll make it.

11. Embrace Your New Country

Immerse. Set yourself up in your new country asap – with a bank account, local driver’s license, medical aid, phone, store discount cards etc. You’ll never feel at home if you don’t treat it like home. Get out. Socialise. Even if it’s just saying hi to the other mums and dads at the school gate. Get acquainted with your new country’s history and current affairs. Watch the local comedy shows. The quicker you immerse and start having shared cultural references with the community you now live in, the quicker your life will start having meaning.

12. But Always Remember Your Roots

You’ll always be South African… and that’s something to be celebrated, to carry with you with joy and pride. A large part of who you are is because of the country you grew up in and the people of its land; and you’ll find the longer you’re away, the more patriotic you may become… as you realise, from a distance, all the beautiful things about the country you’ve left behind.

The best expat survivors are those who embrace the new whilst proudly holding on to their roots. So wave the American flag on the 4th of July but proudly wear your Bokke gear when South Africa’s Springboks or Rugby 7’s come to town! (You may have left your network in SA but you’ll discover you now belong to a global group of proud South Africans around the world.)

13. Soul Food

No matter who you are, you’ll miss some of your favourite South African foods – from Melktert to biltong. And there’s nothing like a braai to feed your soul when you’re feeling lonely in Sri Lanka. If you’re lucky, family from home will send you ‘goodie bags’ filled with peppermint crisps, Nik Naks and Ouma’s Rusks. But it’s useful to find your own local supplier. It’s one of the first things Charlize Theron did when she moved to Hollywood. So go online, find a local South African shop (usually owned by another expat missing his SA nourishment!) or check out the international aisle in the larger supermarkets. In most cities around the world nowadays you can at least find Rooibos tea and Mrs Balls chutney. And even a Nando’s or Steers. If you’re in an SA-starved location – learn to make your own lekker kos. Buy a biltong maker (online), check out SAPeople Recipes for all your favourite South African recipes and watch Jan Braai or Kook en Geniet for more recipe ideas.

14. Don’t Get Stuck

Stay focussed on the important things. Stabilise your family, seek friends of a similar outlook and attitude. Don’t keep comparing your current hardships with only the good stuff you remember from SA. If you’re in a job that’s making you desperately unhappy, change it. Surround yourself with positive people. Keep moving forwards. Making ‘Onwards and Upwards’ your new mantra.

15. Be Smart 

With a smart phone and Whatsapp, you can easily – and cheaply – stay in touch with your best mates and family back home. The connecting choices are endless – Skype, Facebook messenger, Facetime, Snapchat, Instagram etc. Being an expat, miles away from home, has never been easier.

16. Follow SAPeople.com

Become part of South Africa’s biggest expat community by signing up for a daily dose of the top SA news items, fabulous photos or videos from SA, and stories from fellow South Africans living abroad. There are over 215,000 South Africans located around the world to answer your every question…

17. Stay Connected with Showmax

Showmax is the only place where South Africans living abroad can get their homegrown TV fix, express from South Africa (just hours after being broadcast back home!). The internet TV service is available in more than 60 countries worldwide and has a fantastic selection of the freshest South African shows available exclusively to South Africans living abroad.

If you haven’t yet, sign up for Showmax now – there’s no better time than August to do so. Make use of the special free 14-day trial to enjoy new episodes of SA’s favourite shows, movies and more. SUBSCRIBE NOW

18. Vasbyt

When things get tough – and they will – hang in there. Remind yourself why you made the move and what you’d like to achieve. It takes time to truly settle in, and while the people around you may feel like strangers now… within years you’ll have made memories and lifelong bonds with many of them, and you won’t feel the same as you do now. Remember “this too shall pass”. There’s a period of adjustment. Some say give it two years before you make a decision to throw in the towel. Prospects often get better with time. But if they don’t, and you’re yearning to return home – your friends and family are sure to welcome you!

In the meantime, surround yourself with positive people… and cure those homesick blues by indulging in your favourite TV shows and films from home on Showmax.

P.S. Remember, the grass is greenest where you water it…

P.P.S. If you have any tips – please add them in the comments below… or email admin@sapeople.com.

Partly sourced from The Expat Confessions by Ted Botha & Jenni Baxter. Sponsored by Showmax, thank you.