Celebrating Bakkies Botha’s Birthday with All those Classic Jokes!

In honour of John Philip ‘Bakkies’ Botha’s birthday today, here’s a well known post from 2011 celebrating (and joking about) everything that makes the former Springbok rugby player so unique… and such a legend that posts like this exist! (And based on classic Chuck Norris jokes.)

SOME ‘FACTS’ ABOUT BAKKIES BOTHA …

Bakkies Botha is so strong he can tear a page out of facebook.

Bakkies Botha never dials the wrong number. You are just answering the wrong phone.

Bakkies Botha has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.

Bakkies Botha doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it

Bakkies Botha can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Death once had a near-Bakkies Botha experience.

Bakkies Botha can slam a revolving door.

Bakkies Botha doesn’t need a GPS. Bakkies Botha decides where he is.

The sheep on Bakkies Botha’ farm are the ones that give us steel wool.

Bakkies Botha will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Bakkies Botha can speak Braille.

When Bakkies Botha throws a boomerang it doesn’t dare come back.

Bakkies Botha never ever farts. Why? Because nothing ever escapes from Bakkies Botha.

Some kids pee their name in snow. Bakkies Botha pees his name in concrete.

Bakkies Botha is the only man who collects red cards as a hobby.

Bakkies Botha’s pee is the main ingredient in Red Bull.

The Americans want Bakkies Botha to run for US President but clever Bakkies informed them that he prefers rugby to running.

Bakkies Botha can recharge a flat car battery by just staring at it.

Bakkies Botha does not know his real first name anymore.

Bakkies Botha can tweet from a pay-phone

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, there were already 3 missed calls from Bakkies Botha.

The Kimberley Big Hole was not created by diamonds diggers. Bakkies Botha decided to put his foot down

The only time that Bakkies rests is when he watches Riaan Cruywagen reads the news on SABC2.

Other than the great wall of China, Bakkies Botha is the only human being visible from outer space.

The sheep on Bakkies Botha’s farm are never slaughtered. They are hired out as security guards by other farms.

Bakkies Botha’s blood has been replaced by battery acid – just to slow him down a bit.

When Bakkies Botha throws milk over his rice crispies, they don’t dare make a sound!

Naas Botha, Chuck Norris and Rocky all sleep in Bakkies Botha pajamas.

The first thing that Bakkies Botha does when he gets to the sea is to swim two lengths thereof.

That’s our Bakkies Botha…

***

Tonight Bakkies – who turned 37 today – said on Twitter: “Thanks for all the good wishes on my birthday today, from everybody around the worId. Appreciate it, signing out for the day. THE REAL ENFORCER.”

On Facebook:

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www.rugby15.co.za/2011/09/chuck-norris-jokes-of-boks-players-bakkies-botha-heinrich-brussow/