SA School Confessions

I accidently stumbled onto this site and was pleasantly surprised to see so many of my classmates, especially Patrick J, who lives in Canada. This is something I have not shared with anyone, but Patrick use to rummage through other learners bags and steal their lunches. Then one day I saw the boys watching him in anticipation. To my disgust I found out that one of them have opened a sandwich and put “GOP’ onto it. Patrick’s eagerness to eat the sandwich had led to me not having any bread up to this day. It was totally disgusting.
Anon

I was at varsity (Tukkies between 2002 & 2005) and there used to be a guy who worked in the varsity library, by the name of Benny. In my first year, he’d help me around, and show me around the library. Initially, he seemed like a brother who just cared, only to realise later that he had a crush on me. Somehow, given the fact that I was hopelessly in love with my then boyfriend, I began to develop feelings for him. But that was after I told him about my then boy friend, and also how much I loved the guy. I think he was just a too good guy to take advantage of my hopeless relationship. Unfortunately, that was what I wished could happen, since I didn’t have the guts to tell him how I felt about him. Ultimately, he left for a better job in Kempton Park. It was during that time that he confessed to me that he loved me, but he then had to forget about me, since I was madly in love with someone else. Even today, we still chat, but unfortunately! , he moved on and got himself another lady. You are still my favorite, though Benny!!.
Anon

I never thought that I would ever have one. A high school sweetheart. His name was W Williams. I can safely say that he was almost my everything. I never thought that I could ever move on without him in my life. We had a great time together. Although I wasn’t the prettiest, he made me feel like the only female on earth; in that he could get any girl he wanted (girls didn’t make their crush on him a secret). He never admitted or mentioned it but I know that he cheated on his then girlfriend to be with me. I wasn’t sure but I was suspicious. We still live in the same area (never see him though) and t he is married and happy. I am also happily married to an amazing man and we have a 2 year old little girl. The purpose of this note is to say: W Williams, if you ever get to read this note; I just want say thank you very much for an amazing 2 years. You always made me feel special. I had a horrible low self esteem (I was chubby and not very pretty I believed) and you being as handsome as you are and as popular as you still are like back then at East Rand Secondary. You always seemed to look past that and adored me like you did. That is something I will always be grateful to you for. I was just as smitten and I appreciate the fact that I can also talk about my first love. After school we went our different ways and I used to get angry at you for appearing for awhile and then disappearing for months on end. Today when I look back, it’s one of the experiences that I treasure the most and wouldn’t change anything about it (even the way things worked out, 12 years later). Remember we said that we’ll get married when we turn 21 and that you wanted get married on 21 September. You never explained why that date was so important. I know that you were possibly with other girls while you were with me, but that doesn’t even matter. I’m just glad that I had the opportunity to be your girlfriend. You are very ambitious and I have no doubt that u are a major success in! whatever you’re doing.
D Harris

I met my Mr. Right a long time ago (well though he was my mr right) I was madly in love with him and I would do anything for him, leave my job, move to another city jump through fire in was crazy. I met my prince by ironing his shirt ( I hate ironing ) and from there he would come and visit we would go to the movies. We had fun and it ended without us ever telling each other. He moved to Pretoria and I stayed behind. I visited him a few times, but he had a new life. I so much want to cling to him but I realized that he had a new life and I was not part of that life. I met other guys made mistakes and finally got married to one of those mistakes. After I got married I heard from my friend that he came to look for me…my heart was breaking six months to late. I never forgot him and I was reminded of him constantly, people looking like him, somebody who talked or laughed like him. I had fond memories of him. After I divorced my first husband, I moved to another province and started a new life for myself. I got a message from a friend in my previous town to phone a number, and it was him I did not know what to say I was speechless. He was married, maybe still is but, it was nice to hear his voice. He said we would have coffee, I said great we never had that coffee. I wish we had that cup of coffee maybe then I could have let go but he is still in my memories and I cannot forget him. I don’t even know him anymore as it has been more than 10 years but he is still there in my heart, in my soul and in my dreams. How does one forget your great first love? I was told about this site from a stranger and I randomly searched for all the people that I once knew and there he was again. I hope he is well and maybe someday we will have that coffee.
Stella

Ever since I was a young girl I always new I had a thing for other girls and it never crossed my mind that what I felt would intensify to something real. What I felt manifested itself to a point where I needed to find myself. The thing is I fell in love with a close friend of mine in high school, and by high school I mean a girls only school. I had this HUGE crush on my friend but I never told anyone about it, no one even suspected anything, and what is worse is that the feelings I had for her kind of drew us apart as friends. We began not to talk that much as if she could sense that something was up. I went through 3 years of hell trying to get over her. And it came to point were I didn’t even want to be anywhere near her, not that I was starting to resent her because I didn’t want to be lesbian. I just could not handle being around her and not knowing what to say, I could not handle the tension that existed between us. It only hit me in matric that I was a lesbian because even though I never had a relationship with a girl before, what I felt for my friend was overwhelmingly powerful and even I could not explain or control it. My relationship with my boyfriend suffered as a result of this. I will not mention this girl’s name because it would not make any difference, besides I have chosen to lead a straight life and I believe that even though I am attracted to women I can never date one because it is against what I believe in. She was not beautiful but she was attractive, intelligent, and humorous. She was a great person and it’s sad that we are not friends anymore. I hope were ever she is she is happy and that she finds someone who will love her as much as I did.
ANONYMOUS