Ramblings of an expat South African in the UK: Let’s talk weather and the quest for biltong

In the grand tapestry of life, there are those who choose to leave the familiar behind in search of new horizons.

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Craig Plowden is one such adventurer, a South African who swapped the sun-soaked savannas for the drizzly skies of the United Kingdom.

In this candid reflection, Plowden shares the wisdom gleaned from his journey – a mix of hilarity, hindsight, and the occasional hankering for home.

Here are five nuggets of advice for fellow South Africans considering a leap across the pond.

1. Weather or Not, Here You Come

First and foremost, let’s talk about the weather.

Yes, it’s the quintessential British conversation starter, but for a good reason.

Coming from South Africa, where the sun is practically our fifth family member, the UK’s climate can be a tad … melancholic.

Picture this: You leave your house, it’s sunny. You blink, and suddenly it’s raining – sideways.

My advice?

Invest in a sturdy umbrella (or five), embrace layering, and learn to find the beauty in a grey sky.

It’s an acquired taste, like Marmite or saying “sorry” reflexively.

2. The Great Tea Conundrum

Upon arrival, you’ll be introduced to the Great British Tea Ritual.

It’s not just a beverage, it’s a cornerstone of society.

However, for someone used to rooibos and the occasional Five Roses, the variety can be overwhelming.

Do you go with Earl Grey, English Breakfast, or delve into the mysterious world of herbal infusions?

And then there’s the milk dilemma – before or after the water?

Fear not, fellow expat. The key is to nod, smile, and pretend you understand the sacred art until you actually do.

3. The Language Barrier… Yes, Really

You might think moving to another English-speaking country would mean language is one thing you won’t have to worry about.

Oh, how wrong you’d be!

Between the “jumper” (jersey) on your back, the “lorry” (truck) on the motorway, with a “gaffer” (driver) behind the wheel and the ever-confusing “biscuit” (which is definitely not a rusk), you’ll find yourself learning a whole new dialect.

My personal favourite?

“I’m just popping to the shop.”

Spoiler: no popping is involved. It’s just walking, really.

4. The Quest for Biltong

One of the great quests for any South African abroad is finding decent biltong.

Sure, the UK has its attempts, but it’s akin to comparing a fine Stellenbosch wine to pap sack.

The hunt for that perfect, spicy, dried meat can become an obsession, leading you down the aisles of obscure international food stores and into the depths of online forums.

But when you find it, oh, the joy!

It’s like a little slice of home that roars with flavour, minus the lions.

5. Embracing the Queue

Last, but not least, the British love of queuing is something you’ll need to embrace with open arms.

It’s not just a way to wait; it’s an institution, a testament to fairness and order.

There’s a queue for the bus, a queue for the till, even an unspoken queue at the pub.

But here’s the secret: once you accept the queue, you start to see its beauty.

It’s a time to reflect, to people-watch, and, if you’re lucky, to bond over the weather with a stranger.

Conclusion

In conclusion, moving from South Africa to the UK is akin to jumping into a chilly British sea – shocking at first, but ultimately refreshing and invigorating.

You’ll miss the warmth of the African sun and the vibrancy of its lands, but you’ll find new things to love: the quaintness of British villages, the history etched into every cobblestone, and the camaraderie found in complaining about the weather.

So, to my fellow South Africans contemplating this move, I say: embrace the adventure, the unexpected, and the queues.

Your expat journey will be filled with moments of hilarity, homesickness, and, most importantly, growth.

And remember, no matter where you find yourself in the world, there’s nothing quite like a South African braai to bring a piece of home to you – even if you have to wear a jumper under a brolly while you do it.