South African living in Australia: “I left my heart in Africa”

A South African living in Australia, Bashi Pather has written a heartbreaking poem about leaving her heart and soul behind in Africa. While some South Africans find freedom and joy when they move abroad, there are many – like Bashi – who never quite feel like they can be themselves when they’re no longer living on African soil, no matter how long they stay in their new country. For Bashi, it’ll be her 20 year anniversary in August since emigrating from SA… but the sadness still weighs her down.

“I cannot believe that the time has flown away, so many things have happened during those 20 years,” Bashi told SAPeople. She visits her family annually, sometimes twice a year and each time she returns she feels a sense of “you are home, child; you have people here, this is where you belong”.

“I am only a teacher,” she says, “but I decided before immigrating to Australia that come hell or high water I will save every penny to go home every year. Stepping foot on African soil each year has given me so much belonging… it’s nourished my soul so that I could come BACK TO OZ for another year. Like a fellow Saffa said to me once, ‘Your soul is African as it will always be, but for now you live here’.” Here’s a poem Bashi’s written that describes how she, and so many South Africans, feel…

ODE TO HOME: IMMIGRANT
– By Bashi Pather –

I am in this new world blue skies, birds, trees, people.
All busy with their lives.
I smile but my heart is empty
My eyes don’t see potential, only loneliness, pain, hurt.
You see, I left my soul in Africa it slipped
out as I ran to catch the plane.
It is a soul that cannot belong anywhere but there.
It is a black soul, full of colour and laughter.
It is a soul that cannot travel.

I stand here on this new land, I run my fingers through the foreign soil.
I cannot mingle, I cannot feel.
You see, I left my heart in Africa, it slipped out as I ran to catch the plane.
That heart it belongs in Africa.
It has the beat and rhythm of that great land.

Here I stand bereft of heart and soul.
This new land where I cannot belong.
Despair!

What will I do without them, how can I be?

The mirror reflects a strange new person,
All teeth and smiles.
Who is she? Why does she look at me so?
Redefining me, Who me?

Yes, yes I know now!
New land, new person, new heart, new soul.
She that beautiful African woman.

The one who used to throw her head back and laugh too loudly?
I saw her leave!

© By Bashi Pather

READ ALSO: SA Poem – My Home South Africa – by Bashi Pather

If you’re a South African living abroad or who’s returned home, and would like to share your story, please contact admin@sapeople.com